Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Unexpressed Fear....!!!

With the onset of winters there's another season that needs to be welcomed......tis the season of marriages...........the rate being an average of 2 marriages per week............not that I have any complaints (except for the wide array of cuisines.....coz in the end one leaves the premises with an absolutely confused mind and stomach)..................
but I love the scrupulously planned weddings............its amazing to find so many colours as well as emotions under one roof................the various rituals, the fun and frolics of the youngsters, the decors, the gifts, the flashy and flaunty ladies, the nervous brides and I guess the bridegrooms too :-p, including the tantrums of ajji's, kaku's, mavshi's .....et al...............................

However amongst the hustle-bustle that existed in all the marriages, I couldn’t help but notice one common expression on a particular face that held the same designation in every marriage..........The Father(s) of the Bride(s)..........................................!!!

Though their façade was exultant, there was a veiled fear that maybe, can be identified and related with, only by a species called ‘daughters’……………This is an innate fear of every ‘father of a daughter’ and which I think forever remains unexplained and unconsoled……………. (all this philosophy is solely an outcome of a realization within myself that says, “you are a daughter yourself” :-p )
And before this post gets any bizarre……….its necessary to explain why this thought crossed my mind……………………Saleel Kulkarni and Sandeep Khare, the celebrated duo in the music industry, are creating remarkable works with their literary and musical prowess…………. Besides having the privilege of being Saleel Kulkarni’s student I consider myself fortunate to witness and be a part of some of his wonderful works…………………….and one such wonder is a musical composition called ‘Damlelya Babachi Kahani’………………………………..it has been an instant hit amongst the music aficionados all over Maharashtra…………..
What appealed to me most in the song was the, the beautiful description of this above mentioned ‘fear’……………it invariably turns the listener’s eyes moist …………..the song explicitly describes the turmoil a father faces when it suddenly dawns upon him that his daughter won’t be around henceforth……………. He regrets losing out on her childhood, while chasing his career, ironically only to provide all the possible comforts to her.……………..
Also at the release function of this album, a few people from the audience were invited to express their opinions about the song………which I feel is quite unique, as the exact impact of the composition could be appropriately gauged………………..The belief behind doing so being that, there is an unexpressed side to every persons character that remains always susceptible to emotions if instigated in the right manner…………which the song aptly did………..!
And it was then when I realized, that every person dwells some kind of ‘fear’ in his/her mind………….’fear of loss’, ‘fear of failure’, ‘fear of dejection’ etc I feel are all mundane, but what tops the list is the ‘fear of being happy’ [however the idea is open to individual perception……!!!]…………………………………………….. And now coming back to the marriages and the Fathers and the Brides……..I feel it is this fear that possesses these beings……….coz amidst all the happiness there’s a sadness silhouetted around it………………a Father could be aptly called as the ‘unexpressed mother of a child’………but then as I said earlier, this gap forever remains unexpressed and unexplained……….and as it is often said, some things are beautiful if left incomplete…….maybe that’s what beautifies the relation even more…………..!!! 

P.S: Though there isn’t any specific occasion or for that matter a reason to do so, I would still like to dedicate this post to every ‘Father of a Daughter’………Baba you too….!! :-p 

7 comments:

  1. Hi priya,
    U hv expressed yourself aptly. I liked the way u r becoming expressive.
    U hv related the marriage ceremony with the state of mind of every father.
    Try to imagine it when he has to get in process of looking an appropriate Groom for his daughter. Willingly or not willingly he has to fulfil his duties & that too with just a calculated gamble. Its true , he cannot express openly, but behind his each act there is a hidden pain of loosing his beloved one & at the same time a fear or insecurity that will she be in good hands & will she b happy throughout her life? Our lifecycle has put all of us in the same circle & u have to follow the track.
    Its good that you are learning to look in different angles towards life.
    Lifestyles are changing & the feelings towards each relation is also changing.
    Its worth to spare few moments to sit aside & feel in your own inside feelings. U r lucky to get such moments now, So enjoy it & don't loose your sensibility.
    I will like u to induce this habit in Parimal as well. Take part in at least making him think internaly to retrospect & become a responsible & mature human being.
    Wishing you All the Best in your life.
    Baba.

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  2. khuup chaan lihila ahes...though I can't be in the same shoes as u, right now... I do agree...
    Least I can do is to appreciate the purity and truthfulness of your thoughts and sentiments...

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  3. Priyanka,
    I so recognise you in this post with all those philosophical bits (and that’s why conversing with you is always interesting).
    I also recognize in this post my relationship with my father – a relationship that leaves a lot of things unsaid. You know, the quintessential baba who executes his fatherly duties efficiently without ever hugging you or saying how much he loves you. And yet, he’ll break into tears when you are about to go far away (and you thought he was rock solid!) He’ll never ask you how you’re doing, will never call to simply chat and will never ask you about your friends. But he’ll let you know, in awkward words, how proud he is of you. He’ll be jealous when you bring up the word “boyfriend” but will grudgingly go groom hunting when the time is right.
    It is this ‘unsaid’ part that makes the father-daughter relationship so unique and special. If you have aai’s shoulder to cry on when you’re hurt, you know only baba can make it all right.

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  4. I got carried away in my previous comment and forgot to mention that your post is very well-written. I like your writing style. But please sweetheart, easy with the ............ :D

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  5. And btw I missed my baba because of your stupid post! x-(

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  6. Gauri,
    Wow......I think next to my dad's comment no other comment would be as perfect as yours....(though its unfortunate that I couldn't witness your actual reaction to this post)......it is at such moments when we actually 'miss' our friends.....aso....
    'If you have aai's shoulder to cry on when you're hurt, you know only baba can make it right'......kya baat hai.....how beautifully said....
    I guess thanking you for this comment wont be suitable as its your story too.....so all I would say is, post your article on your blog asap :-) can't wait to read it.....Love ya...!!!

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  7. Hehehe....then why are so far away idiot....come back.....you won't miss anyone then....ooooops.....ummm maybe u mite ;-)

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